I’m sorry – but what a LOAD OF BS!
What is the point of these labels? Whose purpose is being served when we choose to label our societies, our communities, our cultures, our faiths, our beliefs, our religions? Why are we focusing so much on differences? How about for just a moment, we focus on the fact that “WE ARE HUMANS” “WE ARE PEOPLE” “WE ARE INDIVIDUAL BEAUTIFUL SOULS”
My newest label, DIVORCED was never one I imagined I would be associating with myself. But as life would have it, this was part of my journey. Regardless of what people think about divorce, for me, this has been the hardest, most difficult blessing. It has shown me things about myself that I had never known. I know my soul knew it, but in the process of my soul getting lost in this physical world, my divorce became my rude awakening into realizing why I am here. Why was I brought into this world? What is my purpose? My divorce freed me from societal and cultural expectations and oppression about who I was based on my gender, based on my role as a wife, as a daughter in law, as a mother, as a full time employee. It freed me from the limited perception that I had of myself as being only that which those roles defined me to be. It opened up my eyes to the fact that in addition to all those societal and familial roles and responsibilities, I had an individual role, that demanded a responsibility towards myself.
It gave birth to a curiosity to seek out the answer to the question “Who am I? What role and responsibility do I have towards myself? See, far too often we are trying to figure out how we are attached to what and who exists outside of ourselves. We ask “Who am I as a child, as a sibling, as a wife, as a daughter in law, as a mother? And what do all these relationships expect from me?” “How can I satisfy or perfect this role and the responsibilities that are being expected of me?” In focusing on all that is outside of us, we completely forget about the role and responsibility we have towards our self. Do we even realize we owe it to ourselves to ask this question?
See folks, I am ME. I have likes, dislikes, dreams, aspirations. I love, I fear, I hurt, I cry, I laugh, I smile, I get excited, I wish, I desire, I hope, I crave, I fantasize … I do all of those! I seek to understand, what is it that makes me feel all these emotions? What keeps me going, what keeps me thriving? What elevates me, what depletes me? How do I handle all of this? How do I live through this, without fear, and how do I keep it real without fearing guilt, judgment, anger, resentment, shame?
It took walking away from what was familiar, to embracing the unknown to find these answer – to find me! I had become comfortable in the uncomfortable for way too long, and that can only be tolerated for so long before you start becoming the ugliest version of yourself. No one needs to endure this
sacrifice or this misery. Walking away was hands down the scariest decision because I knew nothing of what lay ahead. What I know now, is God lay ahead. I found Him in ways I never imagined. Faith has become my knight in shining armor, and God leady my journey. My travels are nowhere near over. It has only just begun. But one thing is for sure, if the beginning has been so magical, I can’t wait for what else is in store.